Jess is taking over writing this post because #obviously.

Before July 9th, I knew absolutely nothing about wedding dresses, let alone about shopping for them. I've still never seen "Say Yes to the Dress," so in my mind, the bride-to-be walks into a dress shop, finds the section with her size, and tries on whatever they have. If she likes one, she takes it home with her. I thought I'd want a mermaid-style "in-then-out" dress, thought icy white would be the best with red hair, and thought "bustle" was only a word that follows "hustle and."

So wrong on all the levels. So, so wrong.

Patricia, luckily, had seen "Say Yes to the Dress" and knew what to expect for our crazy weekend of dress shopping all over the Bay. She knew to prepare me for openness when it came to the shape and style I was looking for (because just like everyone told me, what I ended up with was the complete opposite of what I set out looking for), and she warned me about being industrial-clipped into dresses so big I could drown in lace and tulle and beaded bodices.

A few things I learned that weekend:

The basics

You have to make appointments for these places. An hour is plenty of time for 6 dresses or less, but it's always going to take more time than you think to run from place to place.
In the first appointment, try on a dress of every shape and style. We did the opposite, because I was so stubbornly and inaccurately sure that I knew what I wanted, and it took at least three appointments to start trying on different styles. I wish I'd done that sooner, because from there, it was impossibly easy to get a feel for what I wanted.
Someone is going to clip your skin and it will hurt like hell. It's just going to happen.
Each boutique or store has a pretty distinct style, unless it's an all-encompassing destination like David's Bridal or a similar "come-here-for-all-your-wedding-needs" store. Some boutiques only carried hippie dresses, some only had lace and bows, some only offered clean edges and pockets and designer grace.

The budget

My advice for anyone planning a wedding: Sit down with your fiancé/fiancée and make a tedious budget. Look at it, smile wistfully, and rip it to shreds because no matter how many corners you cut, how many deals you think you got, how many wishes you had to sacrifice to keep costs down, that budget isn't going to work. It's going to be more expensive than you wanted it to be.
But that being said, make a budget for your dress and stick to it. I'm so glad I did, because this is actually an easy area to keep costs down if you also hold my philosophy, which is simple: It's a dress. I will wear it one day my entire life. I am not a sentimental person and I will not save it to show offspring or family offspring. I will probably sell that shit on eBay because I'm a poor grad student who likes money. So when it came to making a budget, I was pretty solid on keeping it below $2,500. It was not only possible, it was easy—we just had to go to a wide range of shops, some with dresses that started at $6,000 and some that started at $500. Mine was the least expensive dress I tried on. There were other dresses that I would have loved equally as much, and that rang up at more than twice the price. I considered it. I calculated new budgets. And in the end, it just wasn't worth it—personally, I'd rather put that money toward reception details than in extra lace and bows.

The hunt

No one actually offers you champagne. You'll have every fancy water bottle under the sun, but don't be surprised if the end of the day comes and you managed just one bottle of Perrier. If you find a champagne-serving place, for the love of God, please tell me where it is.
Fun fact: When looking for shoes, Jimmy Choo serves champagne.
Fun fact #2: When looking for wedding earrings, Tiffany & Co. serves champagne and little blue petit fours.
You will always be too short for these dresses. It makes sense: It's easier to take off fabric, lace, and/or tulle than it is to add it. But I needed layers of stools to even see what a scalloped hem would look like on a 5'6" frame.
Whoever thought to add pockets to a wedding dress deserves a Nobel prize because yes.
These damn things are heavy. To anyone with the guts to try a strapless dress, hats off to you. I'd accidentally flash half the congregation before making it down the aisle.
No, but really...do people glue those things on?

The final discovery

I have literally no idea how many dresses to try on. I'm sure a graph exists somewhere in the interwebs about the number of dresses required to reach a point of saturation. For me, it was 5—I found my dress at the second place, and it was the fifth dress I tried on. It looked absolutely nothing like what I thought I wanted. It didn't even look good on the hanger. I turned my nose up at it, put it on, and felt the tears coming...so who knows.
Apparently not everyone cries when they find "the dress." I did. I think it was because I was hungry and already tired and the person helping us had just clipped half my back off.
Still questioning this...do they use invisible tape? Like, industrial strength invisible tape?
I tried on 64 dresses in 2 days. In case you think that's too many, let me clarify this for you: It's too many. My saving grace was going through that (still super fun) ordeal with one of my favorite people. Who you bring with you matters: Patricia took it upon herself to text photos to the friends and family whose opinions I cared about, but was careful to balance their thoughts with my (and her, because I trust her sense of style wholeheartedly) own. If I'd had even one more person there with me, it would have been too much stress.
...duct tape? Do they offer an invisible version of that stuff?
We actually met a bride-to-be at a boutique who had dropped her family off at a restaurant and continued trying on dresses alone, and it was for exactly this reason. She was tired of hearing their opinions and trying to make everyone happy.
Moral of the story: This is the one day in your life that it can be about what makes you most happy, so in the end, your opinion is the most important.

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